6.5 Presentation: The depiction of hell is actually quick lovely. My problem lies with the awful shock value content that is only there to keep your mind off the awful game. Visceral Games really tried to make this game as epic as their first gem, Dead Space but they just failed.
5.5 Graphics: Not to be cliché, but 2007 called and they want their graphics back. When I first popped this game into my console I was a little bit overwhelmed with the reds and browns. The camera can cause some GIANT headaches.
8.5 Sound: The sound was actually one of the only things I loved about the game. The soundtrack is intense and defiantly causes complete immersion. The ambient noise is top notch and so are the sound effects.
5.0 Gameplay: One thing comes to mind, “Been there, done that”. The game play would be fantastic, if God of War didn’t exist. The gameplay is not all bad, but as a reviewer I couldn’t get over the fact that it a complete copy of better games.
6.0 Replay Value: Until the DLC comes out there would be absolutely no reason to return to Dante’s Inferno, unless you want to show your friends what a good promise turned bad looks like.
5.5 Overall (out of 10/ also NOT an average)
Final Notes: I wanted to like this game so much. The weeks leading up to the release it was all I could think about. The fact that I was so harsh on this review was because I was so disappointed. The biggest problem with this game is the fact that it was not good enough. I expected big things from this game, and it did not deliver. I hope that Visceral Games can rebound with Dead Space 2.

So I’m watching “Attack of the Show” the other day and they showed this new site called “InstantAction.com“. They hailed it as “Xbox live for the PC”, and if someone is ballsy enough to make that kind of claim – well, I just have to check it out. When they showed it on t.v. they said it was “social gaming network”. When you get an account, of course you’ll have an “inbox”, a “profile”, and a list of “friends” to play whenever you logon. The service is free (for now), and they have 4 full games that you can play in a web browser. There’s one game coming they showed on tv that’s not on there yet that looked an awful lot like a Metroid Prime ripoff. I don’t care if it’s a ripoff or not, as long as it’s free to play and cool.

So, I went to instantaction.com and created a new account. I logged in for the first time and just picked a random game to try. “Think Tanks” was the first game I checked out. It’s pretty simple, you can “start a game” or “join a game” (and of course play with others). You start with a little “My Party” box on top right where you can in effect “host your own room” and invite friends to play.

I decided to try “single game” – I mean, who wants to get slaughtered by real people the first time they play? I took about 3-4 minutes to download the game on broadband cable the first time, but once you have it – it loads right up. Also – I used Firefox, and it had to install a game launcher “add-on” extension and restart the browser the very first time. There are 12 worlds or “levels” you can play, I just opted for the default level 1 “Medulla Mesa”. When the game started I was impressed with the detail of the terrain. Your player is a short and stout little tank with turret on top. The arrows move you around the level, and your mouse aims the crosshairs of the turret, the mouse button fires. There are 7 other thanks, and you basically roam around the level and shoot at them and take them out before they do you. When you die, you come back after 3 seconds. This fact, and how the other players are shown on the map reminded me sooooo much of Halo it wasn’t funny. There are “powerups” throughout the level. I had a lot of fun playing, but really sucked because of the fact that I was on my laptop. You really need a real mouse and not a touchpad to stand a chance in this game. Here’s a snap of the gameplay action:

So the next game I tried was “Marble Blast” which was of course a blatant ripoff of Marble Mania. Neverless, a fun game in which you navigate your marble through different levels by avoiding pitfalls, jumping, and trying not to fall off ledges and down holes. In this game you have an “individual challege” where you “beat the clock” – or you can do the “realtime multiplayer”, which seems like it would be kind of weird for this kind of game. I guess you race other players when you play that way. If this type of “maze game” is your bag, you’ll love Marble Blast, especially ’cause it free! Here’s a pic of the action when I completed level 1:

The third game I tried was “Cyclomite” – which I don’t really have anything to compare it to. Seems pretty original. You control a wheel in the center of the screen that has spokes, and each half is a different color. From the outer edges of the screen come these “meteorite” things that you have to “intercept” with the wheel. If the color of the meteor matches the color of the “spoke” in the wheel it touches, it is absorbed, otherwise, it “stack” on the edge. If you get the wrong color stacked too high – game stops and you lose. I’m sure there’s more to this game once you get going, but I didn’t play it much longer than to figure out how it worked. Here’s a pic of “Cyclomite” during gameplay:

All in all Instant Action wasn’t a bad experience, and it does say “beta” on their logo. If they think they’re going to build up a community of “free” games and then douse a membership fee on it like gasoline, they’re just doomed for failure. Also – they’re going to have to step it up a bit to be able to compete with Xbox live and online console gaming. They may need to get more servers too, I never did get to play “Screw Jumpers” at all, since it would never fully load. It’s either the most popular game, or it was just bogged down from their mention on G4 TV. In any event, you’ll have some downtime over the holiday weekend – you should check out these “free online games” when you’re at the relatives house with nothing to do! They should work just as well in Internet Explorer if they don’t have Firefox where you’re going….but if they don’t – install it for them!

Play Bejeweled
Wow, did I ever waste countless hours on end with this game. Probably one of my all-time favorites. I actually like this game more than I did Tetris back in the day because it seems a bit more fun and fast paced. My favorite type of “puzzle” game.

Play Bowman
This game is a bit more skillful. I can remember spending hours on end with this thing to try and get the perfect shot. Calculating that pefect angle and power combination was extremely difficult.

Play LineRider
This game has a cult following all it’s own. Linerider is insanely addictive, and I’ve previously written many articles about it here on The Smorgasbord.

Play Portal
There is an incredible amount of sophistication built into this game, it reminds me of the old days of the Nintendo.

Yeti Sports
This reminds of a bunch of ‘Snowman’ games I played before. I good one to test your skill level.

There you have it – the 5 online flash or java games I love best (out of c|Net’s list of 10). I’m sure I’m forgetting something that didn’t make their list. Can you remember any that we didn’t? Post your favorite online browser games in the comments now and share with everyone!

right in your own browser built completely on DHTML and CSS? Talk about coding ’til your fingers bleed…

First screen is Chinese, use your arrow keys to get past it and play the full game…

originally posted: 2005-09-24 23:59:25 -0400